“People”

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207“When you are in the final days of your life, what will you want? Will you hug that college degree in the walnut frame? Will you ask to be carried to the garage so you can sit in your car? Will you find comfort in re-reading your financial statement? Of course not. What will matter then will be people. If relationships will matter most then, shouldn’t they matter most now?”

– Max Lucado

The only thing I don’t really like about this quote is the use of the word “people”. It’s too easy to read it and think to yourself, “Eh, I don’t like people. I don’t care if people are there, I’d rather be alone with my thoughts at the end.” Of course. We are all the stars of our own LifePlays and everyone else we meet along the way are just supporting actors. But the “people” in this quote would be more recognizable by the names we use when we talk about them to others. It is our mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, best friends and significant others. Those “people” whose faces stand out from the blur of humanity that share moments with us that make life special. All too often we are so busy acting out our own scenes that we forget how important they are and to appreciate the “people” in our lives.

Why Do I Run?

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Why do I run? It’s a miserable, uncomfortable thing. I’m pretty terrible at it and get little satisfaction from the actual act of running. I can walk forever, but as soon as I accelerate to a trot every member of the Board of Directors of my body launches into fits of rage and protest that puts the Boston Tea Party to shame. My mind is the worst culprit. It wants no part of cardiovascular exercise so it immediately pulls out the Playbook of Doubts and gets to work.

The battle is the reason why I run though. There is no one on this planet who is a bigger obstacle to me than myself. I am absolutely my own worst enemy. My mind is insidious. It knows all my weak points and what to think to get me to doubt myself. It gets me to question why I am doing the things I am doing and to want to give up. To not face the difficult things in life. When I run my inner monologue is a cacophony of doubt, hesitation, skepticism and mistrust so perfectly discordant that it could have been ghost-composed by Bach.

For every reason or inspirational thing I think of to get me to keep going, my brain has an answer for why I should stop. My whole body joins in the routine. My lungs betray me and my thoughts begin to align with every ragged breath. Just … STOP … it’s … HARD … knee … HURTS … why … PRETEND … isn’t … YOU … notta … RUNNER … they’re … FASTER … you … CAN’T … Every step becomes a contest of wills to see who will quit first, me or myself.

Right when the noise inside my head becomes nearly deafening, I hear it … ching … step … ching … step … ching … step. The sound of my keys in my pocket jingling with each step I take cuts through the nonsense. The whole Board stops the parade of uncertainty it’s been marching through my thoughts and all is silent except for … ching … step … ching … step. My body knew the answer all along. One step at a time, keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other. My body is proving my mind wrong with every step I take. Through all the madness it just kept going. Things are put into perspective and the Board slinks away having been humbled.

I run for those moments of clarity that help lay a bedrock of confidence that carries over to other things I do. Every time I start to waver, I remember those moments on the road going up a hill when I didn’t listen to the voice and kept going. I prove to myself every time I finish a run that I can’t give in to the doubts. I trust that I will find the way to wherever I’m going, it’s just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other long enough to get there.

The Opportunity of Life

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“I would love to believe that when I die I will live again. That some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking.

The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there’s little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye, and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”

– Carl Sagan

Happy Mother’s Day

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I would like to take a moment this Sunday, appropriately Mother’s Day, to appreciate my Mom. I may be biased, but I think that my mother is a tremendous person. She taught me things about life and myself just by going about her own life. So much of who I am today is because I had her to look up to as I was growing up.

My mom went back to college later in life to get a degree in education and pursue a career as a teacher. I can’t even imagine how difficult that journey must have been for her. She would often be one of the older people in her classes. She had been out of school for a long time and didn’t have the benefit of things like math being fresh in her memory to help ease the transition. She had to balance out the expectations of being a mom to me and my sisters and a wife to her husband all while studying and writing papers. To this day I marvel at her strength not only for what she did but also what she continues to do.

I’m sure there were times where she wondered if she could do it, if it was worth it, if she was being selfish for doing this, what it all would amount to. But I believe she recognized something within herself, a spark of purpose, something where she knew that she could make a difference in people’s lives by giving a piece of herself through teaching. She owed it to herself to see how brightly that spark could burn. In the end, it was worth it and she is one of the teachers that I believe makes an impact on her students.

Because of my mom, I know that it is no such thing as it being too late in life or too old to reinvent yourself and pursue your passions, so I don’t need to worry about getting it “right” in life. I know to always be myself, because that’s the best version of me I can be, and to not let other think of me keep me from being myself. I know there is never any reason to give up and that we are so much stronger than we know. I know that for as many times as you get turned down and that the odds are stacked against you, to keep going, because it only takes one opportunity to show what you can do. I know to seize the opportunities that life gives me with everything I have and to put a piece of myself in the things that I do. My mom is awesome, and I’m proud to be her son.

There’s Treasure Everywhere!

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One of my favorite comic strips as a kid was Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson. Calvin was a six-year old boy with a vocabulary and intelligence beyond his years. He has no filter and questions and ideas flow right from his brain to his mouth. Hobbes is his stuffed tiger that is alive to Calvin but a stuffed animal to everyone else. They would go on adventures together and talk about the world and why it is the way it is. It was great as a kid, and it holds up as the years go by. It’s always interested me how you can look back on things from your youth and have a whole new appreciation for them as an adult.

One of the strips that stuck with me is one where Calvin is digging a hole in his backyard. Hobbes questions why, and Calvin tells him he is looking for buried treasure. Hobbes asks what he found, and Calvin responds “a few dirty rocks, a weird root, and some disgusting grubs”. The next panel shows a jubilant Hobbes saying “On your first try??” and Calvin exclaiming with a large grin that “there’s treasure everywhere!”.

As an adult I appreciated that this strip taught me that life is all about perspective. Adventure isn’t a thing you do, it’s a mindset you have. The ordinary becomes extraordinary depending on how we look at it. The world is full of everyday miracles just waiting for us to appreciate them. As you go through your day today, take a moment to appreciate that there are some incredible things going on around us. It’s Spring, flowers are blooming, the weather is getting warmer and the days a little longer each day. It’s a beautiful time to be alive.

Find The Others

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“Admit it. You aren’t like them. You’re not even close. You may occasionally dress yourself up as one of them, watch the same mindless television shows as they do, maybe even eat the same fast food sometimes.

But it seems that the more you try to fit in, the more you feel like an outsider, watching the “normal people” as they go about their automatic existences. For every time you say club passwords like “Have a nice day” and “Weather’s awful today, eh?”, you yearn inside to say forbidden things like “Tell me something that makes you cry” or “What do you think deja vu is for?”.

Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. But what if that girl in the elevator is thinking the same thing? Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? Everyone carries a piece of the puzzle. Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. Trust your instincts. Do the unexpected. Find the others…”

– Timothy Leary

LifeSeeds

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Life is crazy sometimes. It’s full of these countless moments that make up our days. More often than not these ordinary moments mean little to us and even less to the universe. But every now and then we have a moment that hits home with us. It’s a moment that burrows deep inside you and leaves a mark, sometimes without you realizing it. It leaves something behind that grows over time that influences who you become. I call them LifeSeeds.

I’m an older brother, so I’ve always lived my life with the expectation that other people are watching me. As I was growing up I never really thought that anyone outside my younger sisters or maybe close friends were really watching me though. I’d end up reluctantly in spots of leadership, head of a class group or captain of a team, but these were things that I didn’t really think I deserved and I always felt like I did just because no one else would. Why would someone look to me to lead? I’m no different than anyone else.

When I was younger, I was graduating high school and was doing the end of school things. Going around, getting my yearbook signed and all of that stuff. I had a gym class and an elective with this younger guy and we had always gotten along in class, so I figured I’d have him sign my yearbook. We had never really had a meaningful interaction to me outside of some fun in class, but I figured, sure, why not.

What he ended up writing planted a LifeSeed in me that I’ve carried with me for the rest of my life. He was wrote how he never had a brother, but that he looked up to me and thanked me for being there for him during a rough time in his life, even though I didn’t know it. It blew my mind. I had no idea this guy felt this way. I never actively tried to be anything more to this guy than a classmate. I couldn’t believe that he looked at me this way. It was the first time in my life that I understood that you never know the influence you could be having on someone. That we have the power to matter to someone just by being who we are in our everyday lives. It’s made me want to be a better person just in case there are other random people out there watching.

We live in a world, especially lately, where it’s non-stop judgment. There are a thousand and one panels of judges on reality shows more than willing to tell people they aren’t good enough. America votes someone off of something every day. There are entire networks dedicated to picking apart food and fashion. Judging people is an app swipe away! It’s no wonder no one says nice things to each other. It’s terrifying to be vulnerable and say something from the heart because we’re so used to people getting eviscerated just for looking the wrong way.

The beautiful thing about this is that the younger guy had the courage to write what he did in that yearbook. I’m forever thankful that he did, because I don’t know if I am who I am today without that one moment. Take a chance in life and tell people nice things you think about them. You never know what it could mean to someone.

May the Fourth

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“Do. Or do not. There is no try”

– Yoda

Today is celebrated by fans as Star Wars Day. The pun is pretty obvious, “May the Fourth be with you”. In observance of this day, I wanted to share the Yoda-ism above. It’s one of my favorite quotes from the movies.

It’s beautiful in it’s simplicity. All too often when we are tasked with doing something we say to ourselves or others, “I’ll try…”. It gives you an out right away. You’re allowing that you could fail.

But if you say “I will”, it changes your perspective. It’s no longer luck or chance that that dictates if you will do what you are setting out to accomplish, but a matter of time, effort and dedication that will see you through to the goal.